Like Nothing Before It

The kit I have is one Mario Cipollini wore.
Note: I wrote this about a week ago as a review of the new Rock Racing uniforms. Unfortunately, I forgot to make it an active post. Enjoy!

There’s never been a professional cycling team like Rock Racing.

So that might explain why I have never worn a kit (cycling’s term for a “uniform”) quit like the one that arrived in the mail in late August.

Right out of the box, I could sense something was different. It might have been the visual clues at first: a rubberized tag protruding from the side of the bib shorts and side of the jersey, the elasticized cuffs on the jersey sleeves, the way the inner jersey fabric pattern resembled nothing I had ever seen before.

Or perhaps it was simply the out-of-this-world eye-catching design of the kit itself. In my case, I would be putting the team’s famed “Crucifixion kit” on display to Omaha, Neb., residents who are used to a more traditional all-one-color-jersey look (combined with staid black lycra shorts) when it comes to seeing recreational cyclists out and about.

An official Rock Racing kit is not complete without the matching gloves (there’s no Velcro closures on these $45/a pair accessories) and socks. And with the latter came another first – “L” and “R” letters to tell me which sock would optimally fit which foot.

So, with the eagerness of a new bride searching for that perfect wedding dress, I “kitted up” and sucked in my stomach before taking stock in the bathroom mirror. Sure enough, I was no Mario Cipollini, but perhaps someone would mistake him for me once I got on board my bike. The dead giveaway might be my helmet – which, despite matching the red-white-and-black kit in color, was not the team’s official LAS-sponsored lid.

As I carried my bike down the stairs of my apartment, I began to notice a few other features of the jersey and shorts that were not immediately apparent. Like the longer-cut sleeve on the jersey. So that’s how they make sure the Cadillac logo is displayed so prominently and with hardly a wrinkle. And the feel of the soft, well-padded artificial chamois in the shorts while walking (normally the first giveaway that the feel in the saddle won’t be a good one) was an indicator of comfort still-to-come.

Perhaps my only balk was with the gloves, which seemed tight at first. Squeezing them on was a bit of a chore. Now I put them to the real test. Too-small gloves will quickly numb the fingers and knuckles and leave your braking power in question.

Rather than type, “the day chosen for my test ride,” I will simply reveal that I went on a ride about as quickly as I could get the kit out of its plastic bags and the elaborately-crafted custom tags (completely with rubber skulls) cut off). That meant being at the mercy of the harsh afternoon winds that blow across the Midwest plains. Locals plan accordingly, as a ride begun into a headwind does not always guarantee a tailwind upon turnaround two hours later.

So as I cut into the teeth of a 20 mph headwind, I realized my effort was being helped along by the cuffed bottom of the jersey and the aforementioned elasticized sleeves. There was no wind wrinkle from flapping in the stiff breeze. Even the shorts felt fast – stretching nearly to my upper knee. Cutting through the win with such aerodynamic efficiency reminded me of wearing the one-piece “skin suits” that cyclists prefer to wear for time trials – timed events run alone pitting competitors head to head in grueling races that prove who is the fastest over a certain distance,

I wondered whether I would be mistaken for the likes of Freddie Rodriguez or another one of the racers. Or more likely, fellow cyclists probably believe I am just another “groupie” who is kitted up like a pro. Well, there’s nothing bad about that. And if you’re a motorist who takes notice of a cyclist’s colorful or elaborate outfit, that’s a good thing. If they see you riding, the danger of them hitting you is significantly reduced.